The Howard Stern Show Convention

I sometimes wish I lived on the East Coast so I could make it to some of Artie and the staff’s shows.

Anyway, don’t look for Artie Lange in Hoboken this weekend - he’s scheduled to perform Saturday night in Detroit. Here’s a look at what he said with local papers.

The Detroit News starts off its interview with Artie by recapping a story familiar to fans of the Howard Stern Show (or readers of Hoboken Now) - he stayed up all night playing poker and slept through a friend’s wedding.

Lange gave his friend this handwritten note - as well as what was reportedly a four-figure check by way of apology.

Artie’s obviously not hurting for money. So why go all the way to Michigan - after waking up at the crack of dawn four mornings a week to do Howard’s show, which starts at 6 a.m. - to do stand-up? The Detroit News doesn’t say how much he’s getting paid to do the 5,000-seat Fox Theatre on Saturday night - tickets are selling for $40 to $75 - but notes $100,000 is “an average weekend” for him when he does stand-up.

“I come from nothing, literally, less-than-nothing money wise, and I just can’t see myself saying no to $100 grand because I’m tired,” says Lange, who turns 40 next month. “Who knows, maybe I’ll die on the road because of it.”

Meanwhile, the Detroit Free Press has “five questions” for Artie:

• Is it true you’ve talked about leaving the Stern show?
• Can I ask about your dating status and your health?
• Do fans get really specific about your life when they meet you?
• You’re a big sports fan. Any advice for the Tigers?
• There’s a great scene in Elf where you’re a department store Santa and Will Ferrell says you smell like beef and cheese. Is that ever true in real life?

-Johnny

Richard Johnson recently called into Howard Stern’s Sirius radio show. Howard is miffed because Page Six has been writing bad items about him.

As far as Howard recalls, there was something about Howard getting cold feet on his wedding, something about him wearing dentures (which actually turned out to be his anti-bruxism nightguard), and an item about some crazy cab driver who says he has Howard Stern porn? Howard says they’re “all lies.” So Richard Johnson says he has no agenda against Howard. Howard says, so let’s print some real items! And Richard’s all, great, gimme some! Aww. That is so sweet.

-Johnny

Clip from Page Six:

Howard Stern admitted on his show last week that he was getting “cold feet” over his upcoming wedding to fiancée Beth Ostrosky. “I wonder what I’m doing getting married,” the shock jock wondered aloud. “I want nothing to do with a wedding.” Stern said that it was his idea to have a fancy wedding instead of “running off somewhere.” But now, Beth wants to invite more people than Stern would like. But, of course, Ostrosky can persuade him in the bedroom. “I get horny and come up with wedding ideas,” said Stern.

Can OJ Simpson add anymore stupid life choices to his list? During an interview, Artie Lange talked with Sports Illustrated about an off-air moment when OJ Simpson was on the phone “yelling at” Howard Stern, saying “I’m coming for you next, Howard.”"That’s what I heard, though Howard never told me what he said,” said Lange. Adding that it “was the first time I had seen Howard flustered on or off the air.”

The confrontation supposedly took place when Laurence Taylor was a guest on The Howard Stern Show, and received a call during the commercial break, explained Lange. L.T. handed the phone to Stern saying that a “friend” wanted to speak with him. “It took Howard a few moments to realize it was O.J. Simpson,” said Lange.

“…I heard O.J. talking a mile a minute. He was yelling at Howard, saying ‘I’m coming for you next, Howard. You’re f—ing with me. I’m coming for you next.’ Almost goofing on him,” Artie told SI.

“L.T. saw Howard squirming and was laughing. Howard, obviously, is one of the highest profile guys who has messed with O.J. from the beginning.”

-Johnny

“Eric, you’ve got to know that it’s not proper to be calling Diana Degarmo’s mother at her house and constantly asking to meet with her daughter.” These were the words of Howard Stern as he chatted with Eric the Midget on the phone the other day.

I can’t believe this guy is still stalking her and even more that she hasn’t blocked him or changed her number haha! It’s amazing how far “physically challenged” people can push the envelope when it comes to people’s good nature. It shows a lot about Diana that she hasn’t told him to go f himself yet. I know I would have hah!

One thing that is for sure, he does make for good radio and frankly I’m shocked at how many people are interested in him and for that matter, Diana. She’s no Kelly Clarkson but people are still looking her up! I’m not really into American Idol since after the first season but it’s still going strong!

I can’t wait for the next episode of Eric and Diana!

-Johnny

  Haydn Porter was back on the show last week and the drama was on full!

It seems that Double A and a few other Howard Stern Show staff members tried hitting on the 18 year old Playboy playmate the last time she visited. Sounds like she shut them all down and/or did a little cock teasing. Well it was Haydn versus a bunch of bitter staff members/whack packers.

Double A was the most vocal calling her a scum bag and various other names which she took in stride. Haydn is a curious girl, she’s into nerdy stuff like Star Wars n such but made it into Playboy for a College Girl set which helped get her on the show.

Back when she was on the first time I checked out her pics and she’s pretty hot. Anyway, I also hit up her website which was pretty weak. I sent off an email to her asking if she needed help. Weeks later she replied saying she was having trouble with her webmaster so I offered again. I never heard back. Well after this last episode I checked her site again which seemed to have improved a little. I just checked this morning and it’s stuck at the default Apache page. Blah I could have her up and rolling in a day or two. It’s a bummer she never took me up on my offer.

Well back to the show, it was sort of funny that Haydn was actually wanting to strip down for Howard but he was having “child” issues. He was getting creeped out because she was so young and “acted young.” I don’t know what he expected from an 18 year old :-/

So we didn’t get any new Haydn nudes but she’s still at the top of our list of favorite show hotties. Thanks for stopping by Haydn and don’t let the haters bug ya!

-Johnny

Everyone Loves Raymond’s big brother Brad Garrett stopped in today and hung out with our King while Robin did her usual interrupting and interjecting during the 1:1 conversations. Sometimes I feel that she thinks this is The Robin Quivers Show.

They eventually got onto the topic of Howard and Beth’s engagement. As usual, poor Beth took a few knocks about being a hot, model, gold digger etc. Beth has repeatedly told Howard that she doesn’t want kids but Howard revealed that this has become a daily conversation. I think Howard is the only one of us left that believes he isn’t going to be a father again.

He also revealed that they are still using condoms when they bang! WTF? That’s like those comic book collectors that have a prized issue encased in plastic, never to be fully enjoyed. That’s so Howard though, the germophobe, the nerdy chess guy, our hero.

-Johnny

Corks? No I meant something else hah. Well Tabitha Stevens was on The Howard Stern Show today in a pretty funny segment where Howard plays clips of porn videos mixed in with some of Tabitha’s. Her mother, who was on the phone had to guess which clips were of Tabitha. Near the end of the segment, Howard offered Tabitha’s mother some cash for winning.

It just occurred to me that Tabitha Stevens was the little daughter of Samantha and Darrin Stevens in the classic TV show Bewitched.

I wonder what the deal is with Tabitha choosing that name? I bet it was her favorite show when she was a kid.

-Johnny

Well it’s Friday again and The Tapes with Sir Hardin Thicke continues to serve up a yawn-fest. They played a whole section of Robin’s News of her covering a David Coverdale and Jimmy Page news story that was totally boring. WTF?

Cmon guys if you’re going to play the classic show at least play good stuff. You have a whole WEEK to produce entertaining clips. My God! At least slip in some good clips of Sam Kinison getting outta hand! Hell, I’ll even take some clips of Jackie’s annoying laugh and inappropriate timing! haha!

-Johnny

No, it’s not true. Artie hasn’t died of a heart attack. I love Artie, he’s always entertaining and is a great guy but is a couple pizzas from a heart attack.

Any day now I’m expecting to turn on the show and hear this news and it’s going to be such a total shame and waste of a special guy. Everytime I see Artie he’s gotten bigger! I know he’s a free person and can do as he wishes but I really wish he would take better care of himself.

Lately, whenever I think of him or see him on tv or the net I immediately think of John Belushi, Chris Farley or John Candy, all were great comedians struck down in their prime and victims of obesitity. Belushi however was killed by drug abuse.

Anyway, I’m bouncing around on YouTube and found this video of Artie on David Letterman from a few months ago and he’s huge! BTW this video pisses me off from the start cause Dave introduces Artie as starring in Rescue Me…WTF?! Dave he is on THE HOWARD STERN SHOW! Stop being such a Howard Hater!

-Johnny

Yesterday was the six year anniversary of the 9/11 Al Qaeda murderous dishonorable attacks on the USA. I was in my office all day and decided I would listen to a saved mp3 I have of the 9/11 show.

My skin got prickly and I had a creepy feeling as I listened to Howard and the crew go through the attack live. Very eerie hearing the recount of the anger and frustration from Howard and fans that call in then the sadness and disbelief.

Well we are all still here and a lot less of those Al Qaeda cowards aren’t. Long Live The USA And Long Live The Howard Stern Show!

-Johnny

“No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country.
He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.” -General George S. Patton